Well, it’s now a week since my operation and I wanted to write down my progress and feelings, it might help someone reading this, it will be something that – once I’m all recovered – I’ll look back on and think “we got through that”.
The general anaesthetic affected me in strange ways, I’d been told experiences of feeling not quite with it but didn’t expect to feel as wishy-washy as I did, for as long as I did. Weirdly, I had a dry cough and intermittent sneezes in the days leading up to and on the day of my op, they disappeared immediately after the GA! Even weirder was another side-effect, which I’ll keep to myself for the time being.
This time last week, my feet were heavily numbed after whatever blocking method was used and – unbeknown to us – one was bleeding heavily. This resulted in a trip to A&E on Thursday as the local surgery wouldn’t send a doctor out, so the poor foot had to be walked on – with heel bearing boots and aided by crutches – to the car and to the department in the hospital, where they very quickly elevated it and redressed it.
And then in the early hours of Saturday morning, my blood pressure went through the floor and as my feet weren’t elevated at the time, they were engorged and everything upwards from that was being drained away. I remember gasping for breath, whilst Hubbie was speaking to 999 and they kept wanting to talk to me when all I wanted to do was just close my eyes. It’s scary now, thinking back. Poor D got woken up by it all and she told me later that day that she thought I was going to die, yep, same here.
But we have to look forward. To when this is all done and D and I are walking through the woods to school again. Can’t wait.
At the moment, days of bed rest have been replaced by elevation 18-20 hours a day. Even going down the stairs is exhausting, I “bottom it”, aided by a crutch. Sleep is very infrequent as the feet still have to be elevated and it’s very hard to get comfy, my feet are also flipping painful if I do too much (no marathons, just say a trip to the bathroom up and down the stairs!).
It’s strange trying to get up from a sofa/bed without using your toes, if Hubbie is home he’ll help and we have a saying “Brace yourself, Rodney!” before he helps me up (from Only Fools and Horses). If he’s not around, I’m like an octopus for a few seconds, wobbling like a a Weeble (thankfully not falling down).
Poor Hubbie, he’s doing so much ATM, the washing, food prep, washing up etc and I’m on the sofa or in bed, feet up, occasionally crocheting. Mind you, the day after the op, I couldn’t remember how to crochet and even now, I can only read a page or so of something before getting tired – pain/lack of sleep and zero energy combo I guess. Blogging is infrequent as that needs concentration too and I don’t want to sound like a broken record.
He went back to work on Tuesday and because he does a manual job, he’s exhausted by the time he gets home and then it’s tea making for T and D. I do feel guilty but hopefully it’s only for another few weeks.
I hope so. My check up isn’t for another two weeks. I guess that’s the norm, get you in, day surgery, go home and then heal. From what I’ve seen of my toes, they’re mega bruised. I can’t get them wet so it’s washes all the way and for a gal who likes a long soak, that’s hard. It feels like there’s still blood under the pads of my feet but I can’t see anything seeping through so have to assume that it’s all okay.
I haven’t mentioned the home-school transport issues, they’re still continuing. Someone from the council phoned me the day before my op, saying D could have transport from the other side of the village, which totally defeats the reasoning behind its requirement, that I wouldn’t be able to walk and she can’t walk to school on her own. It’s all been very stressful and when I was walking to my op, the nurse asked me a question about how many children I had and I started crying due to the transport issue – not a good way to be!
So, D’s been at home, we’d had no further contact with transport people and the educational welfare officer assumed it had been sorted, until our chat today. More tears from me and I’ve sent off the whole email trail, hopefully D will be back at school after half term. Her safety is my over-riding concern through all this. I feel guilty about the fact it wasn’t sorted but we got trapped in bureaucracy. The ambulance people said on Saturday that stress no doubt played a part in my BP crash, these people with their “computer says no” attitude really don’t understand.
I found a great My Little Pony colour-in cushion whilst grocery shopping online (Sainsburys) and D’s loved that today:
Hopefully once the transport issue is sorted, it will have a positive knock-on effect in that it’s one less thing to worry about and I can just doze a little during the school day if needed, after half term next week.
“Healing” is my word for this week because I hope I am, inside and out.
I’ve haven’t posted for a couple of days, a bit of recuperation happening here as well as a couple of initial complications (A&E trip Thursday and 999 call out early hours of Saturday) meant that I’m taking it easy, well as easy as you can when you’re not used to doing diddly-squat apart from trying to heal.
Poor Hubbie is definitely meeting his daily steps targets whizzing up and down the stairs and keeping everything going, T and D have been pleased to have their routines kept going, although that will all change big-time once Hubbie heads back to work, the kind of quandaries that self-employed individuals face.
I’d read up a little bit about general anaesthetics but didn’t want to scare myself with good old Google but, some of the after-effects have been unexpected, thankfully we’re over that Hill and on the right track now.
D’s school transport issues weren’t resolved, in fact we haven’t heard a word since last Tuesday and subsequent events meant that I didn’t chase, the most recent email said we’d hear something Wednesday or Thursday so we have a bit of a status quo, which made for an anxious D.
As she loves to craft, she decided to bling up my crutches today, it took her mind off things and provided a much needed giggle when:
“Mumma, I’ve done “get well so” but can’t find anymore o’s”
“That’s okay, how about putting “get well so there!” instead?
Which she thought was VERY funny and I think that just might be the message used in “get well’s” in future!
My word for this week is Recovery, and here’s why, with the #Prose4T aspect too:
That procedure I fought for, appealed and won, it happened this week,
And now I’m at home, recovering, the cells rejoining, regrouping, making me occasionally “squeak”.
Not one foot, but two operated on, I’m an “all or nothing” girl.
Never having had a general anaesthetic before, the after-effects are making my thoughts twist and twirl.
Regrouping my brain from the GA is taking a while, I had planned to read, to crochet a simple blanket.
Instead, I’m hibernating like a nearby cat, sometimes with a grimace, usually a smile.
Today saw a trip to A&E, as one foot wouldn’t stop bleeding,
Patched up, sent home, with instructions for strict bed rest, time is what we’re needing.
So, it’s bed rest for me, it’s necessary but boring.
This happened today:
So, recuperation and lots of changes to our family life for the next few weeks. No gruesome pictures in diary posts, I might do a “before and after” at some point.
And no transport news today (sarcastic tone now), I’d really like to thank the “officers” for making me so emotionally overwrought yesterday … did not help with nerves this morning.
Sleep beckons (I hope) Jx
I found empathy in an unexpected source today.
It’s been a feeling of being let down here, the home-school transport issue for the next few weeks for D is not resolved. The suggestion from the transport department was that we walk to the other side of town to go to a bus stop for D to then receive transport, cleverly ignoring the fact that there are not only stops five minutes walk away, discounting my immobility post-op and the fact that, to get to the chosen stop, she’d go past school. Honestly you cannot make it up! When this was challenged and reasoning again explained, I was emailed to say that they presumed transport was no longer required.
So, at the moment, we have none. The EWO (Education Welfare Officer) at school has escalated this, describing D as “extremely vulnerable”, which she is, if she had to walk anywhere unaccompanied and we’ll see what the next few days brings.
Not an ideal situation, being the day before my surgery and one in which I’ve cried buckets, frustrated tears at the attitudes of “officers” who just don’t understand MH disabilities and how they affect our SN children.
And the empathy, this made me cry too. Shown by a lovely man in the town council offices, who sat behind his desk with very obvious learning disabilities and told me that it was wrong that the “officers” were treating us like this, said he would help if he could and told me we were being discriminated against.
Empathy from someone who could see the situation for what it was, unfair.
So, that’s where we are, keeping the current situation from D because she will have enough change over the next few weeke without this additional worry.
So much of our life involves pre-planning, thinking ahead, trying to solve potential issues before they arise. It’s the way we roll here, there are times when I think it would be nice to just go and be impromptu but that isn’t how life with autism works.
We’re used to it. You’d hope that “professionals” who deal with SEN issues would be too.
It’s Monday, I have my op in TWO days and D’s home-school transport still isn’t sorted, in fact I think we only received a certain email today because I chased it.
The long and the short of it is, that, we have transport from a bus stop to the end of December but it’s not what was requested and they haven’t taken into account the reasoning behind this, that I wouldn’t be able to walk with her, that our nearest bus stop is five minutes walk away, that D CANNOT walk that by herself and that even if she could, her lack of potential dangers mean that it just wouldn’t work.
I’ve been asked today – when I explained, again – that my surgery is Wednesday so it has to be sorted tomorrow “what time is your surgery, when can we call?” They’ve had all the information for ages and it’s only when I’m on the verge of tears trying to explain how flipping stressful this is, that anyone actually seems to understand.
I know “a job is a job” but what’s happened to actually reading papers, actually listening to a parent and allowing for an individual circumstance.
At a time when I should be calm, I’m stressed and it really shouldn’t be like this, should it?
Grrr! And poor D heard the phone call so she’s been mega mega anxious.
It’s frustrating because we had a lovely sunny walk home, with cuddles and a very acrobatic cat – click here for a short video.
Tomorrow is another day, let’s hope it brings some news.
There’s no getting away from it, this coming week brings my operation, something that I’m finding daunting what with the recovery period and the amount of household organisation needed.
But, it’s positive, it will be beneficial for me and our family, I’d like a quick fast forward to next weekend for just a moment to see that we’re all okay, that it’s all gone alright.
Back to today and it saw the last major chore achieved before Wednesday, that of getting all the branches and “stuff” destined for a hippobag into one. I’m a right one for thinking “I’ll just do that …” whether it’s house/garden/whatever and the thought of sitting still for the next 6/7 weeks just isn’t me so I wanted to get any temptation to start another project out of the way.
Hippobags are fab, btw, I’ll phone up tomorrow, letting them know it’s ready to be collected and it will, within a few days, I always think they look tidier than a skip too.
D was a star, helping transport branches etc, finding frogs and – her favourite bit – helping to find a bit more space by jumping on the contents!
Hubbie brought home her favourite magazine as a reward and amongst the free gifts on the cover were face paints!
D “decorated” me:
That’s a pumpkin, a crochet hook and yarn and a spider!
Then Hubbie, who ended up looking like he had full body art all over how head and, then our girl:
And then, Nanny McPhee, my goodness she loves that film! She knows every upcoming scene but still gets so excited by the prospect of Nasty Uncle Phil loosing his kidneys or Mr Endelweiss breaking wind!
A day of smiles and giggles and welcome distractions as I count down.
Tomorrow sees phone calls to school transport as I haven’t heard a word since last Monday and it’s no where near sorted!
Anxieties aplenty for D overnight and this morning, together with prep for my upcoming operation next week, have made for a need for a recharge. And still no further news on D’s transport to and from school.
So, an early night beckons. Sorry it’s a short one.
As I’m writing this, D is singing, well alternating between singing and humming. It’s monotonous but nice, a sign that she’s relaxed.
The song on repeat is “Chim Chiminee” (I may have misspelt that) from Mary Poppins, a tune they were singing at Theatre Club today.
D’s memory for tunes and lyrics is amazing, I have to remind her every morning to (for example) put deodarant on, have a wee etc but tunes etc really stick.
Another example is we can be watching The Chase (she has a bit of a thing for Bradders) and I’ll usually be doing a few things at the same time but she’ll memorise the cash builder score, the offers and – occasionally – the answer to a one question decider. Days later, she’ll then say “do you remember when…?”and I can’t, but she can!
It’s good that she’s relaxed, that she’s not thinking ahead to next week and all the changes that my operation will bring. It’s a relief.
(We bought the game a while back, she was very happy as you can see)