Healing – One Week On – Weds 19th Oct 2016

Well, it’s now a week since my operation and I wanted to write down my progress and feelings, it might help someone reading this, it will be something that – once I’m all recovered – I’ll look back on and think “we got through that”.

The general anaesthetic affected me in strange ways, I’d been told experiences of feeling not quite with it but didn’t expect to feel as wishy-washy as I did, for as long as I did.  Weirdly, I had a dry cough and intermittent sneezes in the days leading up to and on the day of my op, they disappeared immediately after the GA! Even weirder was another side-effect, which I’ll keep to myself for the time being.  

This time last week, my feet were heavily numbed after whatever blocking method was used and – unbeknown to us – one was bleeding heavily.  This resulted in a trip to A&E on Thursday as the local surgery wouldn’t send a doctor out, so the poor foot had to be walked on – with heel bearing boots and aided by crutches – to the car and to the department in the hospital, where they very quickly elevated it and redressed it.

And then in the early hours of Saturday morning, my blood pressure went through the floor and as my feet weren’t elevated at the time, they were engorged and everything upwards from that was being drained away.  I remember gasping for breath, whilst Hubbie was speaking to 999 and they kept wanting to talk to me when all I wanted to do was just close my eyes.  It’s scary now, thinking back.  Poor D got woken up by it all and she told me later that day that she thought I was going to die, yep, same here.

But we have to look forward. To when this is all done and D and I are walking through the woods to school again.  Can’t wait.

At the moment, days of bed rest have been replaced by elevation 18-20 hours a day.  Even going down the stairs is exhausting, I “bottom it”, aided by a crutch.  Sleep is very infrequent as the feet still have to be elevated and it’s very hard to get comfy, my feet are also flipping painful if I do too much (no marathons, just say a trip to the bathroom up and down the stairs!).

It’s strange trying to get up from a sofa/bed without using your toes, if Hubbie is home he’ll help and we have a saying “Brace yourself, Rodney!” before he helps me up (from Only Fools and Horses).  If he’s not around, I’m like an octopus for a few seconds, wobbling like a a Weeble (thankfully not falling down).

Poor Hubbie, he’s doing so much ATM, the washing, food prep, washing up etc and I’m on the sofa or in bed, feet up, occasionally crocheting.  Mind you, the day after the op, I couldn’t remember how to crochet and even now, I can only read a page or so of something before getting tired – pain/lack of sleep and zero energy combo I guess.  Blogging is infrequent as that needs concentration too and I don’t want to sound like a broken record.

He went back to work on Tuesday and because he does a manual job, he’s exhausted by the time he gets home and then it’s tea making for T and D.  I do feel guilty but hopefully it’s only for another few weeks.

I hope so.  My check up isn’t for another two weeks. I guess that’s the norm, get you in, day surgery, go home and then heal.  From what I’ve seen of my toes, they’re mega bruised.  I can’t get them wet so it’s washes all the way and for a gal who likes a long soak, that’s hard.  It feels like there’s still blood under the pads of my feet but I can’t see anything seeping through so have to assume that it’s all okay.

I haven’t mentioned the home-school transport issues, they’re still continuing. Someone from the council phoned me the day before my op, saying D could have transport from the other side of the village, which totally defeats the reasoning behind its requirement, that I wouldn’t be able to walk and she can’t walk to school on her own.  It’s all been very stressful and when I was walking to my op, the nurse asked me a question about how many children I had and I started crying due to the transport issue – not a good way to be!

So, D’s been at home, we’d had no further contact with transport people and the educational welfare officer assumed it had been sorted, until our chat today.  More tears from me and I’ve sent off the whole email trail, hopefully D will be back at school after half term.  Her safety is my over-riding concern through all this.  I feel guilty about the fact it wasn’t sorted but we got trapped in bureaucracy.  The ambulance people said on Saturday that stress no doubt played a part in my BP crash, these people with their “computer says no” attitude really don’t understand.

I found a great My Little Pony colour-in cushion whilst grocery shopping online (Sainsburys) and D’s loved that today:

Not that I could put the shopping away.  I don’t like feeling like I’m not contributing or helping but that’s how it has to be for a while.

Hopefully once the transport issue is sorted, it will have a positive knock-on effect in that it’s one less thing to worry about and I can just doze a little during the school day if needed, after half term next week.

“Healing” is my word for this week because I hope I am, inside and out.

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