Courage – Thurs 8th Sept 2016
By Jeannette | September 8, 2016
You know, I really admire my children. They both face so many situations that cause them worry and generally – when out they are – mask it.
The journey to school has triggers for them both; for T it’s the school bus journey, no doubt a sensory-filled experience and he tolerates it because he knows he has to, getting home is when that mask slips and emotions come out and for D, it’s stranger anxiety that causes her issues, luckily – as explained yesterday – she clings onto my arm and only the tense body language and squeezes on my arm indicate her worries.
Today, D and I both faced additional challenges and showed a bit of courage, if I say so myself.
D had PE today, a contact sport which she’s not overly keen on, cricket. The ball rushing towards her and the fast pace of runners have caused her anxiety and a few shouts as she processed her emotions on the way home in the past, today, she nailed it and seemed to enjoy it. Well done D!
This morning brought challenges too, we walk a leafy way to school, cutting through a bridleway, which is a narrow path through the woods, it’s easier on D than walking past a busy primary school and all the car parking issues. It does concern me sometimes that if we met something unsavoury, there would potentially be an issue. Bit like today.
The walk brought us in sight of someone who, at 8.45am, was very, very drunk. Someone who had started out in the distance (over a fence) but mirrored us so that we ended up quite close. D hadn’t noticed but the memories of when I got attacked in broad daylight came back. Outwardly calm, inwardly going into overdrive with scenarios.
I walked home a different way and all was clear at hometime this afternoon, there was no reason why it wouldn’t be, but for the first time in ages I felt panicky and there were a few looks behind. D would expect to go home that way so I had to make sure all was clear.
Silly of me really now, looking back over the day but just goes to show, those fears you’d think hidden, are there burbling away.
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