Too Much – Thurs 12th May 2016

By | May 12, 2016

Sometimes I’m guilty of presuming that D will be okay with yet another change.

I look back at previous instances and think “yeah, it’ll be okay, she’ll be alright”.

It wasn’t and she most definitely wasn’t.

I’d tried to prepare D for today’s change, we were going to watch T’s football training because the manager had a big birthday yesterday and he had some pressies coming.  

From the outset, she wasn’t happy.  She strided ahead to the field, trying to find some sanctuary.  Unfortunately she passed T who gave a withering glare and that meant that the stride turned into a bolt.  I wish sometimes my children would look beyond their own feelings and realise just how difficult it can be for the other to do something, it’s that lack of empathy I guess.

We found somewhere and D sat in her camp chair, rocking and crying, tears absolutely pouring down her face.  Cuddles didn’t help, she didn’t want her books, or iPad or Bunny, inconsolable for a while.

Then eventually she calmed down, picked up a book, accepted a cuddle, even laughed a bit at the cloud shapes until…

Other people arrived for the presentation, she was well back from it anyway but went back even further.

More strides as we left, this time angry ones.

More tears at home.   More anger.  Guilt and more guilt from me.

It’s as if the two aspects of our lives shouldn’t collide.  I’d love to watch T play football and train more, how can I if his sister won’t tolerate us being there? 

It was all just Too Much and something I think may be revisited by D for a while.

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