Guilt – Mon 25th April 2016
By Jeannette | April 25, 2016
The guilt is sweeping over me in waves at the moment, a metaphorical soft, gentle wave comes in, telling me all is okay and then a big one crashes and says “nope, nope, nope”.
Why? Well Hubbie and I both needed to be two separate places tonight, normally we tag-team but we couldn’t today. One of us would have to take D with us.
Normally it would be me. But tonight it’s Hubbie as my meeting isn’t appropriate to take her along to.
So, they headed off just after 4pm, D with a bag with tea, a drink, snacks, iPad, bunny (got to have Bunny), a fleece blanket she can wrap herself in, a camping chair, headphones and books. She didn’t look happy and as we bumped friendship bracelets together and did pinky fingers once she was in the car, there was no smile, no real acknowledgement, but I could tell she was sad/cross with me.
Oops here comes another wave as I write this…
The positive side of me says it’s good that she experiences these challenges, that sometimes life isn’t all calm and peaceful. The other side of me reminds me that I probably won’t be able to discuss with her how she got on because she’ll then remember and relive it and there will be negativity.
Then the cheerful side of me (who knew I had more than two sides?) says that when I phoned to see how everything was, Hubbie told me that she was okay and had moaned a bit that her tea was cold (oops, catering fail) but seemed fine. Hope so.
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