Friends – Fri 25th Sept 2015
By Jeannette | September 25, 2015
One of the most beneficial things about D being in her SN school is that she is with other SN children, who, in the main are empathetic to each other and it is fantastic to see them all at birthday parties or at school events, just comfortable with each other.
It wasn’t a good feeling when she was in mainstream to know that she was deliberately excluded from play dates and parties. Understandably so I guess as no doubt the children would feed back on D’s behaviour, they’d see it as “out of control” or “bad parenting” whereas the truth was that she was completely and utterly overwhelmed by the mainstream environment and didn’t know how to express it.
One particular incident that struck a nerve when another mum asked that the girl I was childminding came to play with her child, both same age as D and so I had to take and pick the other child up, thinking “you know D is in that class, you know she’ll be with me, just give her a chance, under those anxieties she’s rather lovely” or there’d be party invitations to pass on to parents, that sort of thing.
So, to have this come home with D today was brilliant:
It prompted some chat with D about a pupil at school who swears at others and insults them, not because they don’t know what they’re doing, far from it.
I told D that people who deliberately call other people names (D is “ugly” and “chubby” according to this other child) are doing it because they don’t feel good about themselves and it makes them feel better to call others names. D replied
“I wish they’d (gender and name omitted) see that it’s not just about being beautiful, it’s about having friends too”
I’m so proud of her. Every one likes to look their best but it’s what inside that counts, isn’t it.
Speaking of friends, my soul mate and bestest buddy has a birthday today, Mr Bluecrisps. It’s been a right old rollercoaster of a week (again) but we’ve got through it and still make each other laugh, finish off sentences for the other and are generally a bit silly together. Long may it continue.
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