Just Be You – Sun 17th May 2015

By | May 17, 2015

Sometimes T is amenable to a chat, I like it when we do get some time to do this, it gives me some insight into how he’s thinking and he has such a fast train of thought, so chats can start off on one thing and whizz off at a very rapid tangent.

He’ll be 13 later on this year, hopefully puberty will treat him kindly, maybe because he’s already pretty open at showing his feelings (whilst he’s at home), it will be a smoother ride?  I guess time will tell.

I remember when I was his age, I thought anyone over 21 was so old and there were times when I thought I knew everything (little did I know!).  I’ve mentioned this to T, that we understand if he thinks we’re “ancient” but that we have been there, done that, got the wrinkles if he ever wants to talk about things.

He has such a great capacity for seeking and retaining knowledge, his numerical memory is amazing and will quite often correct Hubbie on football stats – and turn out to be correct.

I always tell him we’re proud of him (we are) and that we understand that life in a mainstream secondary school can be stressful (it certainly has been the last couple of weeks for him) and our memories of secondary school.

He fully understood his autism diagnosis nearly two years ago, but prefers to just call it “high functioning” as opposed to “high functioning autism”.  It’s his choice.  Sometimes I wish he didn’t have this “label” as from the very first day there was someone who said to Hubbie “you know, now you mention it, I can see that he’s different” …. and waffled on in a similar vein, someone who’d known T for years and therefore this new “label” shouldn’t have made any difference.  But, it was necessary to seek advice as to whether our parenting instincts were correct before he entered secondary school so that if support was needed in future years, it may be easier to obtain.  

What we always say though is “just be you”, be happy with who you are and don’t try to be someone else because others may prefer it that way.  

He’s happiest at home, not wanting to “hang out” or just wander around a village centre with no objective.  He likes his football, has really got into NHL (hockey) and loves to read.  He likes to know where he’s going and the route taken to get there.  He’s started to give and receive cuddles, but on his own terms.  Sometimes he intensely dislikes D and sometimes he’s very accepting of her.  He doesn’t like hot meals or “wet” food.  He’s our T, we wouldn’t be without him.

My last tweet for Mental Health Awareness Week, although there will be a round-up post:


It’s what I wish for T and D.

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