Tender – Tues 21st April 2015

By | April 21, 2015

A fragile, tender D after school today.

She wouldn’t tell me what was wrong straight away (she tends to built up any negativity and emotions) but it all came out with tears about 1.5 hours later (quite a long 1.5 hours).

She’d be told by her (boy) friend that another child had said D was “ugly”, yes, our beautiful D.  Understandably she was upset.

We’ve reinforced to her that she isn’t “ugly” and that some people who deliberately say things that hurt other people’s feelings do so because they don’t feel great about themselves.  It’s the only explanation we can give.  

Life isn’t always going to be hearts and flowers for D, much as I’d like it to be, she will encounter people who are purposefully mean-spirited, how they enjoy seeing others upset by their words or actions and it’s a question of rising above it.  That’s all very well for us to say but when you’re a SN child who doesn’t like raising her voice or answering back because she doesn’t want to get into trouble at school, it’s another matter.  It’s a question of confidence, which is something D lacks in unfamiliar situations, something that is and has been an ongoing issue, especially in a situation which isn’t always adult-led such as playtime.

There isn’t an answer, apart from us letting D know that she’s loved.  Which she is, very much.

T, on the other hand, would have no hesitation in rising up against something he disagreed with – and no doubt finish with a “nod” after he’d said something sarcastically witty back.  He’s extremely good at sarcasm, our T.  

It just goes to show, you can have two children with autism, this “blanket” diagnosis but so, so difference in their approaches and how they deal with situations.


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