Because – Tues 28th April 2015

By | April 28, 2015

T is growing up, maturing, speaking his own mind.  Which is positive.   He’s in a busy mainstream environment, he needs to be able to stand his ground (as it were) to put on whatever hypothetical mask he needs to, to get through the day.  A day of bells ringing to indicate lesson changes, hoards of pupils dashing from school block to school block and the busy lunchtime environment.

It’s something D couldn’t cope with.  She struggles inwardly if someone says something negative to her in the playground, unable to digest why another pupil would consider her “ugly” and, because she doesn’t have the confidence to retort with a “stop it” or similar, she builds and builds the negativity up in her head until she sees me, then … boom!  We have a potential bolt and meltdown situation.

The above also means that T and D take instruction very differently.

With D, it’s quite straight-forward, if it’s who she perceives as a figure of authority saying it (ie. me, Hubbie, teacher etc), she compiles because that’s what she knows she should do.  If it’s her brother, she listens and goes along with it, sometimes not whole-heartedly.  But she will and then say afterwards “I did it because I had to, I couldn’t say no”.  Which to be honest, is a concern for the future.

T is a different entity.  He is very happy to challenge decisions and sometimes almost needs to challenge, to understand in his mind what he’s being asked and why.  A challenging mind is a positive.  I’ve said to T so many times that his high functioning autistic diagnosis means that he will strive, to think of the many h-f inventors and scholars, people who weren’t comfortable with what they’ve done, so they carried on perfecting and perfecting.

But it also means that Hubbie and I need to be “on the ball” constantly, to not only second guess T but third guess too.  

It didn’t work this evening.  It was time for them to come in from the garden, to start that evening routine.  D came in straight-away but T decided to challenge, with various reasonings.

And then my second/third guess bit went hey-wire.  My jaw was telling me that my pain killers were overdue, it may be a week on but, by golly, I am instantly (and sharply) reminded when the dose has run out.

All I could muster was “Because I’m your Mum and I said so!”  A sentence that posed no satisfactory answer or logic to T, so it was ignored.

Lessons learnt:

1.  Wishy-washy statements don’t work with T or D

2.  Nor does a louder tone, especially if (1) applies.  It doesn’t merit a response or even one of T’s infamous “I’m not impressed” glares.

3.  Take your painkillers J!

T 1 : Mum nil


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