A Performance – Weds 18th March 2015

As I mentioned yesterday, D had a shed-load of anxieties about today.

She goes to after-school sports club every Wednesday and the theme has been Dance this half term.  For a few weeks the whole group has been practising a routine, to perform today, in front of parents/carers.

A big ask for a SN group, to not only follow instructions, memorise steps, work as a team and in front of an audience.  Huge.

Today took me back to those times in mainstream when D couldn’t participate, she’d be brilliant in rehearsals and then nerves would overwhelm her on the day.

She’s been at her SN school five years now and every performance is never taken for granted, because I remember that very frightened, anxious girl and know just how much she’s overcome.

It wasn’t looking promising when we first went into the hall, D was sat stoney-faced on a bench, unwilling to acknowledge us but not taking her eyes from us, wanting us to know that she was not happy.  

Little waves didn’t work, kisses blown ignored, just that solemn, unhappy stare.

I so wanted to go over, to give her a cuddle but knew that if I did, she probably wouldn’t join in.  Far better for her to be annoyed with me than the staff, who’d worked so hard with the group.

And the music started, the routine started.  D moved ackwardly but joined in.  She still wasn’t happy but she followed the lead dancer, as did the rest of the group.  Some bits she enjoyed, some she seemed not to.

But she did it.

Afterwards she attempted to bolt.  All that built-up emotion wanted to come out.  Lots of praise from us and teachers.  Lots of cuddles but she still wasn’t comfortable.

In fact she only relaxed once we were home and she was sat next to our fluffy, purry cat.  

But it’s done now, that dance.  It caused her so much worry and was over quickly, as we’d said.  She did well to participate.

The anxieties aren’t over.  Next week the group are going to the college where the dance teachers (A level students) came from.  A new experience at an unknown place.  She’s already nervous.  Hopefully between now and then she’ll relax, especially at the SN playground at the weekend.

For now though, we’re very proud of her.  She did very, very well.



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