Boundaries – Fri 23rd Jan 2015

By | January 23, 2015

It’s difficult, pre-teen times with autism.

Because of the need to take differing approaches with T and D with regard to admonishing them and guidance, it’s also becoming far more apparent that their learning and understanding styles are also very different.

We had an example tonight, I had to explain to D that when someone says “stop it” and they repeat it, without smiling or laughing, it’s not a joke and whatever she may be doing needs to cease. Immediately. In this case, it was encroaching on another’s personal space and boundaries.

She didn’t react terribly well, I knew she wouldn’t. I didn’t want to mention the incident when she’d had to say “stop it” for fear of raising negative emotions but that would have been a good example.

With T, we can be very clear about what is appropriate behaviour and what isn’t, he also hears some unsavoury (shall we say) language when he’s watching a local men’s team play football and is very aware that what they may say to each other shouldn’t be repeated. But he knows the words, will sometimes ask what they mean (thanks men’s team!) and always spell it out so D doesn’t pick up on it. Phew!

With D, it’s more difficult, more emotion involved, emotions that may be held onto for a long time, hours/days after the original incident has passed.

I guess we just keep on, keeping on. Gently reinforcing the message of when particular behaviour is and isn’t appropriate. Tricky when you have a tween whose social skills (and lack of) are very underdeveloped in comparison with her peers (not that I go down that route very often).

I hope everyone’s day has gone well Jx


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