The Fear

By | November 19, 2014

It’s strange because the track of the same name popped into my ear worms as I was walking to D’s school, but anyway…

Ever since her review meeting, I’ve had this nagging fear that her SN school are going to decide that they’ve come as far as they can with her and she’ll be forced back into mainstream. I’ve seen it happen, against a parent’s wishes.

It was mentioned at last year’s meeting and again a few weeks ago. We were told that she wouldn’t have been accepted into the school now, statement or not.

Truth be told, D has progressed far more than we’d expected. She has flourished in her SN school because it’s the right environment for her, with the smaller class size/higher staff ratio. There were times (many of them) in mainstream when she couldn’t enter the classroom environment, it was all too much. As her teacher put it recently, she was “in shock” at the environment and couldn’t learn.

She can now read and write, which is fantastic. She can walk upstairs to her classroom by herself but always comes down on someone’s arm as it’s busier at the end of school.

She still has anxieties, lots of them but is able to manage them better in a more supportive environment. Intellectually and emotionally she is way behind her peers and that is unlikely to change.

We sometimes see her TA from mainstream, who is so pleased at how D has come along and invariably she’ll apologise for how it was in mainstream, bless her. She did her absolute best but the environment just wasn’t for D.

My fear is that this could all be undone by a forced move.

The logical side of my brain says it won’t happen, that there are pupils who have less anxieties who are still there and that that’s where she’ll stay and that these remarks are meant to make us appreciate how lucky we are, that she had a place there. Which we do. Every time she goes up the stairs in the morning, turns around, smiles and says “bye Mumma”, I do, I really do.

A bit like when we visited originally, we were shown all around the school and the final classroom was for the severely physically and mentally disabled pupils. It made us both feel very humbled and appreciative of what we have.

If it did come down to it, mainstream wouldn’t happen, we’d go down the home education route but I really hope it won’t come to that.

Surely the measure of a successful school life – SN or otherwise – is where a child is happy, and able to progress, not one where they are too overwhelmed by the environment to actually participate or learn anything?

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Kim Carberry on 19th November 2014 at 7:54 pm.

What an awful thing to have hanging over you! Surely they can see how her SN school has helped and it’s because she is in that school she is thriving….Common sense can see that if she went back to mainstream school things would not be good….I hope things work out ok x


Jeannette on 24th November 2014 at 2:41 pm.

Thanks Kim, it almost feels like every time there’s an achievement, I shouldn’t highlight it in case it’s “used”. Hopefully common sense will shine through x


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