Raising my hand

By Jeannette | November 25, 2014

I have no hesitation at speaking up when it comes to my children and what I feel is best for them. I have to, with both being on the autistic spectrum, it’s me (and Hubbie) fighting their corner or nobody.

But when it comes to my own health and what’s best for me, I’m a “mañana” type of girl. Silly really, because if I got ill, there goes T and D’s carer, out of action.

I’ve put off going to the doctor about a few things for a while, it didn’t help that it was nigh on impossible to get an appointment on the phone.

Until today. No appointments available, so I went in and requested a cancellation, however long I had to wait.

And then when I was waiting, I could feel myself beginning to panic…breathe J, breathe…as I rehearsed what I’d start by saying. Knowing already that I was bound to cry whilst in there.

Which I did, almost immediately. But the doctor was lovely, listened and gave advice. Booked me in for all manner of blood tests tomorrow so that we can try and find out why I’m feeling like I am.

In the meantime I have some sleeping tablets. I haven’t had a decent nights sleep for as long as I can remember, my brain refuses to shut down and it almost taunts me by 2am, waking me up if I’ve eventually dropped off with “did you remember …?”.

It may be that a few decent nights sleep and the results of the blood tests will rectify how down I’ve been feeling but if they don’t, then there are alternatives. I’m not ashamed to say that it may take medication.

Of course, the receptionists couldn’t book me in for a follow up appointment (as suggested by the doctor) because they don’t go beyond the week after next. Apparently. It would be good to know what’s what before Christmas.

But whatever the result, I took a big step forward today in seeking advice and that can only be good for my wellbeing going forward.