Coping and Compartmentalisation – Fri 3rd Oct 2014
By Jeannette | October 3, 2014
Now that we’re in October, half term is within sight and, for T, it will be a change to unwind.
We are immensely proud of how he is coping, but are aware that the coping mechanisms that got him through the challenges of mainstream primary are being used to a much greater extent within secondary.
This in turn means that he is winding down and letting any frustrations out at home, not to a massive extent (he’s never been one for emotional, physical outbursts – unlike D) but more in the way he’s talking to us. His frustrations with D and her lower intellect are becoming greater too. He meets these with sarcasm, which she either (thankfully as it prevents a situation) ignores or doesn’t understand.
Hopefully as time goes by, he’ll either develop alternate coping methods or acknowledge when we remind him that it’s not particularly nice to answer/talk to people like he talks to us, but for the moment, he’s coping and so are we (although it does feel very frustrating).
T also compartmentalises people, generally into family, school friends and football friends, it’s not ideal for him if these compartments merge. He’s not particularly good at managing if, say, someone from football comes to the house, as happened tonight. At first he was cross, then frustrated because the person hadn’t gone and was still chatting (albeit about his passion, football) and then cuddly (which is unusual for T). His overriding emotion, I felt, was one of insecurity.
But, life is life. Unexpected events happen, it’s finding a way of managing dealing with them, which on the whole he’s doing.
I wonder if, as he gets older, those compartments will be allowed to merge? It would be nice to think so.
D is firmly back into the school routine and had choir today, which she loves. She’s been singing Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead or Alive” and Michael Jackson’s “Man In The Mirror” and was amazed when I said that I not only knew the songs but sang along with her “You know those songs, Mumma?”. See, I am good for something after all!
I hope everyone’s day has gone well, the general consensus is that we’re glad it’s the weekend here Jx
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