Words – Fri 24th Jan 2014

By | January 24, 2014

Words can convey so much, can’t they? I’m here in my house, tapping away into my phone with words, words that will be published and even if I delete them at a later date, they’ll always be around somewhere. Retrievable.

I’ve been tuning into Celebrity Big Brother this series, previously I’d watch it from halfway through but this year, it’s been from the beginning. Partly because of the mix of personalities, there were celebrities bound NOT to get on. And they haven’t.

There are people I like in there, due to their personalities and the way they’ve conducted themselves and people I don’t. I’d never go as far as tweeting them and saying how awful I thought they were because words stick and words hurt. Even though they’re never likely to read all the negative tweets, I just wouldn’t do it.

But imagine if one of your own children said something hurtful, as D did did this morning. And because of her autism and her sensitivities, I knew I had to move on quickly, even though I wanted to wail inside.

The morning started off okay, routines met and thankfully any anxieties she had on Wednesday have diminished after her teacher’s prompt action yesterday.

We were setting off when I noticed that D seemed absolutely furious but – being D – she wasn’t willing to tell me what was troubling her, I had to second guess.

We dropped off T and, as she was carrying her headband, I asked if she wanted me to put it on. She grunted a yes and so I did.

That was when she said “I want to retire from this family and live with a new one. I don’t want to be with mine anymore”. A whole myriad of emotions ran through my head and I had to gently ask why.

It was the fact that I hadn’t put her headband on before we left the house, even though we always do it after dropping T off. That tiny little thing.

When I asked her why she’d said what she said, she replied “because I didn’t know what else to say”. And then she said sorry. And cried. And I was able to tell her that she should only say things like that if she meant them because people can feel hurt and upset.

Then of course, we had to move on, both emotionally and literally because she still had to go to school. Which she did, asking me on the way “not to tell school what I said”. She went in happily after a big hug.

This afternoon was a run-up and a “Mumma!, Dad!” and a body-slam. A welcome end to her school day and her school week.

She’s been positive this afternoon and evening, looking forward to the weekend and what we’ll be doing.

Inside her school bag was a little note from one of her friends, saying that he loved her and wanted to marry her. Lovely words, written by another SN child, on a heart-shaped piece of paper.

Words can definitely convey so much, they have today.

I hope everyone’s day has gone well, comments/RTs/shares as ever welcomed, thanks for reading Jx


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