Moving On – Mon 20th Jan 2014

By | January 20, 2014

As regular readers of my blog will be aware, Hubbie’s mother died suddenly (and thankfully peacefully) nearly a month ago.

At the time, we made the decision to tell T – who had been picking up on snippets of conversation and the disruption to routine – but not D, as she was so, so excited about Christmas and I just didn’t want to “burst her bubble”.

The days passed and then came the question “when do I tell her and how?”. I knew from reading this very helpful page on the National Autistic Society’s website that it was best not to use ambiguous language eg. not referring to the deceased as “sleeping” and to also maybe reference the life cycle of insects/animals. Something we could draw reference to with having cultivated extremely carnivorous ladybirds last year!

Last night – as D and I had already had gentle discussions about what had been upsetting her yesterday – seemed an appropriate time and it wasn’t easy but she understood. She had thought that her Nanny had been in hospital because that’s what she had been told originally and had not picked up on anything else, something which made me both thankful but sad at her lack of empathy.

We’ve had our b a t h time chat tonight and D mentioned that, as part of Science, they visited a church and graveyard today (no, I’m not sure why either). D mentioned that she’d heard the story of Sarah (from The Bible) and that it reminded her of Nanny. She had made the connection herself and I am beyond proud of her for telling me.

She greeted me with a run-up, a squealed “Mumma!” and a body-slam.

T – my cheeky little monkey – is settling with hiccups, having made himself giggle (he gets hiccups following a bout of giggles) and, despite a cold, he’s enjoyed football training tonight.

So, a positive start to the week, I hope everyone’s day has gone well, comments/RTs/shares as ever welcomed, thanks for reading Jx


Facebook Comments


Karen Sellers on 20th January 2014 at 9:57 pm.

Sounds like you handled a difficult discussion very well. Can’t have been easy. Hugs xxxx


Jeannette on 21st January 2014 at 12:23 pm.

Thanks Karen, it was a case of finding a time when she was receptive. I feel slightly guilty about the delay but glad the convo has been had xx


Karen Sellers on 21st January 2014 at 2:12 pm.

I don’t you need to feel guilty, you chose a time when YOU could deal with it, and as I know D has issues with the concept of time, it won’t have mattered to her in that way. But now she knows and can process it in her own time, and there is no need for any “secrets” any more. Hope Mr BC is coping xx


Jeannette on 23rd January 2014 at 12:25 pm.

Thanks lovely, Mr BC is doing better than I thought he would be still very up and down, it’s the realisation that she’s not there to tell about something that is difficult, they were so close x


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