Guilt trip time! Weds 14th Aug 2013

It’s been a quieter day for T and D, much needed after the hustle and bustle of town yesterday. They’ve alternated between untilising their specific calming tactics, then sparring, then going back to it. They reminded me of a pair of playful kittens – teasing, then walking off ignoring each other, then back to it as kittens do.

A day at home has meant that I can catch up on those phone calls that I’ve been meaning to make, even if it meant talking to CAMHS on the trampoline so that I had relative peace! I always find it difficult talking to the doctor on the phone, purely because it’s difficult to get a word in, he seems to almost be talking to me from a script and it’s only when he pauses for a moment that I can butt in (and it feels rude when I do that) but we agreed on a satisfactory outcome.

Another phone call concerned T, since his diagnosis in April there are still official forms to fill in and phone calls etc. It’s a psych-up and get it done type of task. Out of earshot, because there’s nothing to hide, we’ve been very open with T, but because it’s easier that way.

I finished the calls and T asked me "if you knew I was high-functioning, why did you wait so long?" He’s always full of thought and he has definitely seemed more at ease with himself since the diagnosis. Part of me does wish he’d been diagnosed a few years ago but the traits that have become more pronounced, may not have been so evident and the diagnosis process may have taken until now anyway. It doesn’t stop me feeling guilty but I am glad he’s said what he’s thinking and not bottled it up. I tried to explain this as best I could and he seemed satisfied. It doesn’t stop me feeling guilty though.

It’s been a day when I’ve felt very emotional (and there have been tears out of sight) but the calls are out of the wall.

The day has ended happily for T and D with lots of bathtime bubbles, a funny bedtime story for D and some football (naturally) to watch for T.

So, that’s us. I hope everyone’s had a good day, comments/RTs/shares as ever welcomed, thanks for reading Jx 😘