#BlogADayJuly “What Do You Wish You Were Better At?”

Today’s blogging prompt is "What Do You Wish You Were Better At?" Oh, where to start…

I wish I was better at containing my tears:

Life as a special needs parent can be emotional, very emotional.

You prepare yourself for a meeting, get everything written down you want to say, get into the room and someone will either say something negative or something extremely kind and …you’re off. The tears flow.

And then you’re a snivelling wreck, trying to get your point across whilst sobbing and sniffing. I’ve got a lot better at developing an external skin but I had to formally write and request that a particular professional stopped verbally attacking me in meetings because we clashed over an issue. She did not or would not recognise the anxieties that autistic children face, to her I was simply a bad parent. I felt so angry with myself that she made me cry but it was frustration that she wasn’t prepared to listen.

And why do meetings – good or bad – effect special needs parents/carers like this?

It’s because we care for our child/young adult. We want professionals to see them as individuals, not simply a budget figure or a product of bad parenting. We want the best for them and it’s frustrating when those who profess to, obviously don’t.

So, wish number 1, I wish I could keep the tears in check. If that fails, sunglasses time.

Wish number 2: I wish I was more assertive in certain situations.

I’m fine on the phone or in online communication, but put me in front of people and I’m a red-cheeked J. Always have been. Blushing is probably cute when you’re a coy teenager but not when you’re a middle-aged Mumma. Hey ho, tis me.