Expectations – Tues 26th May 2015

By | May 26, 2015

… or rather not.

It’s taken me quite a few years, but I’ve finally recognised that it’s easier (on me and T and D) if I don’t present unrealistic expectations of what we’d be doing during the school holidays.

I don’t mean that we do nothing, but I now recognise that this is a break for the children and, as T’s personal idea of hell is over-crowded areas and no clear timetable, it’s best to avoid the tourist-type attractions.  

If I insisted on dragging (and for T, it would literally be dragging) them off here, there and everywhere, he’d hate every moment, take it out on D and me and no one would enjoy the outing – and we’d be a few ££ down too.

So, they’ve relaxed, they’ve sat together in the Apple (garden day bed thing) and they’ve been able to sit next to each other without taking emotional or physical chunks out of each other.  They’ve had trampoline fun, which hasn’t been as competitive as any after school, because they’re more relaxed.  T, in particular, is eating more because he’s got more time in the mornings/he hasn’t got a busy playground to contend with.

It’s easier this year too because this is the first year since D was two that we are just us, no child-minded children.  I’d be planning activities (crafting and outings) with the underlying knowledge that I’d be involving two reluctant children who just wanted their mum.

This might sound boring, boring that I’m not sharing theme park pictures or “look where we’ve been”, but for my children, it’s a way of ensuring that they go back to school rested and relaxed, not over-stimulated.  It works for us, mind you, tomorrow I may be saying something completely different!  That’s life with autism for you.
  

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6 Comments

Silly Mummy on 27th May 2015 at 12:18 pm.

Very good point to make. As you say, it is a break for the children, so it should be what they find most enjoyable, & that is not the same for all kids. It makes complete sense for autistic children, but actually I think there are plenty of non-autistic kids who would prefer quieter, less hectic activities for their breaks too. It isn’t always necessary to plan action packed days in order to ensure children are having fun – they often love the simplest things.

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Jeannette on 27th November 2015 at 9:56 am.

Very true, sometimes for D it’s a cuddle and a book 🙂

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Sarah MumofThree World on 27th May 2015 at 1:59 pm.

That sounds very sensible to me! Why force them into doing something which they won’t enjoy, when they’re happy at home and get a proper chance to relax.

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Jeannette on 27th November 2015 at 9:55 am.

Thanks Sarah, it took a while to get out of the “they should be doing xxx” when they just need to chill a bit 🙂

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Jane - Our Little Escapades on 1st June 2015 at 8:02 pm.

This sounds like the half term we have just had and after a busy few weeks of birthday celebrations it was perfect for us. I hope your week continued to be relaxed x

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Jeannette on 27th November 2015 at 9:54 am.

Thanks, happier children make for a happier household 🙂

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