Ultimately – Weds 28th Jan 2015

By | January 28, 2015

Ultimately, D had a good day, but it didn’t start that way.

Take a dose of anxieties, add autism and mix it all together.

What do you get? A stressed D, even before school.

The reason being, she goes to after school dance club on a Wednesday. Anxieties aplenty before and after the first two sessions. After a couple of weeks of deliberating and worrying herself about it, she was able to tell me that it’s because it involves a degree of free thinking at the start – they all have to say their name and do a dance move, totally unaided. Tricky for a girl who finds imaginative thinking challenging.

So, we’ve been practising at home. Both Hubbie and I have been suggesting and demonstrating moves (strictly no tw*rking) and she eventually decided on doing a square (you know, right foot forward, cross left foot over, right foot back and then left).

She seemed happy and confident last night and it was good to see her laughing and actually looking forward to the activity.

This morning was a different matter. She was worried she’d forget how to do it, so (good old me, with the best intentions) wrote something in her diary, asking if they’d just remind her of the square thingy at the end of the day.

Not the right thing to do, according to D and she said she was “too scared” to tell them that she didn’t want to practise. “Too scared” to ask that they ignore that bit in the diary. D gets on really well with her teachers but I guess it’s that “doing something that’s not on the timetable” bit, that lack of confidence to speak up.

She refused to head up to class unless I explained the situation to her teacher, so I did – whilst D went and cowered in a corner.

Once it was explained and she’d heard the result, she was fine. As if a switch had flicked, happy, smiley D was back and her day started.

And ultimately she did enjoy dance club. She said she did forget a bit of what to do with her feet but it didn’t matter.

I’m glad she had a good day, in the end, it’s just those anxieties that can virtually immobilise her at times.

Bearing in mind D’s after school club means catch-up with T-time, that should have gone better than it did. T not in the right mind frame to be in a (reasonably) busy coffee shop, frowning at anyone who decided to sit at a neighbouring table, snapping back at any attempt at conversation. Unwilling to listen to explanations as to why his attitude can be detrimental to a relaxed environment during family time.

It’s that metaphorical emotional seesaw again.

I hope everyone’s day has gone well Jx

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