Sharing – Mon 18th Aug 2014

By | August 18, 2014

The ability to share (and share “nicely”) isn’t something that comes easily to either T or D.

They are both extremely keen on Minecraft and it’s practically the only game they’ll play side-by-side, each within a shared world, working together but separately. It’s nice to see.

What wasn’t so nice was the bust-up they had last week, over a (you’ve guessed it) Minecraft book. There are a series of strategy books and they’d each chosen one as their treat during a town trip – having previously chosen one each – with the proviso that each allows the other to read it if needed, the books all contained different hints and tips.

Both agreed willingly.

They both have different approaches to books, D will carry a favourite with her everywhere day and night, T will place his neatly on his bookshelf, books arranged by theme and author, he doesn’t like a book to be scuffed or marked, they all have to be as when bought. Very differing standards.

Anyway, they squabbled big time over the fact that T perceived D as not sharing and D was adamant the book was “her” book, there was tears on both sides, stomps from D, angry protests from T and a very unhappy household.

The obvious answer is to just have duplicates but I would, I really would, like them both to share, to take turns in reading them, to offer each other the chance to read one if interested.

We might just be getting there…

T and D – as well as having lots of fun in the garden between rain showers – had been Minecrafting again today. She was happy, he was happy.

And then T mentioned about the books, but, instead of being defensive and confrontational, he asked if he could read such-and-such one and offered her one of his to read. It was all done in the way Hubbie or I would speak to D, very gently and positive re-inforcement. She agreed and all was well!

T is usually frustrated by the intellectual and emotional variances between him and D, he is 2 years or so above his level, she is 3 or 4 below, so despite there only being 18 months between them, it’s kind of up to 6 emotional and intellectual years, which can make for a challenging time, I can perceive this “gap” widening as they grow older too.

But today, he pitched it just right, they shared and I’m very proud of them. Tomorrow will probably be another story entirely but one happy Mumma tonight.

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18 Comments

Karen Sellers on 18th August 2014 at 8:54 pm.

Just lovely to read J, and an important achievement. Sharing isn’t always easy between NT siblings. xx

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Jeannette on 19th August 2014 at 11:32 am.

Whether it lasts is another matter, a lot depends upon how tolerant T is feeling of D, but it was lovely to hear x

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Guest on 20th August 2014 at 6:47 pm.

You have every right to be happy! I wonder what my Nick would think of Minecraft…. or dare I not show it to him! 🙂

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Jeannette on 25th August 2014 at 9:14 pm.

Oh gosh, good luck if you do .. Mine are absolutely fascinated by it!

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Anne on 20th August 2014 at 9:08 pm.

I find that my two girls have learnt to share quite well now, without my intervention…but they are still reluctant to share with their little brother.

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Jeannette on 25th August 2014 at 9:15 pm.

It’s a tricky one isn’t it, knowing when to intervene.

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LifeWithAsd on 21st August 2014 at 12:05 pm.

Yes sharing is a big obsticale in our house to! Well done T for being patient and offering a incentive for D to share #SSAmazingAchievements

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Jeannette on 25th August 2014 at 9:13 pm.

Thanks, he did so well 🙂

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Caroline on 21st August 2014 at 3:04 pm.

Aww that’s lovely, sounds like you have a very grown up boy there learning how best to communicate with his sister, great step for him in particular and all of you really! Xx #ssamazingachievements

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Jeannette on 25th August 2014 at 9:13 pm.

Thanks Caroline, he’s got a mature head on little shoulders, very protective of his sister, but equally intolerant too. It was a lovely moment to hear 🙂

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Merlinda Little on 22nd August 2014 at 8:20 am.

Sounds like its been working smoothly over your household. Sharing was a problem before with my son as well. He is an only child and sharing was alien to him and its always a problem in playgroups. When he started school he started to know the concept of it and I think he is okay with it now =) #SSAmazingAchievements

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Jeannette on 25th August 2014 at 9:12 pm.

Thanks Merlinda, when it doesn’t work it’s not a happy house but, in the few times it does, it’s fab.
Good to read your son is getting to grips with it too 🙂

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Jane Roberts on 25th August 2014 at 5:03 pm.

I’m so glad they were able to share, and nice that they have a joint interest. I have no idea if Ethan knows how to share yet, I’m sure we will (have to) learn in due course!

Thanks for linking up with Small Steps Amazing Achievements :0)
x

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Jeannette on 25th August 2014 at 9:10 pm.

Thanks Jane, so much depends on circumstances and moods for T, D doesn’t have the emotional understanding of the fact that sharing means she may not have something for a while, unfortunately.
I guess play it by ear with E and positing reinforcement x

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Mummy Tries on 25th August 2014 at 6:08 pm.

I can really relate to what you’ve said here. My girls aren’t fans of sharing so we have a new saying that everything is everyone’s, which works about half of the time. Glad to hear that T & D shared nicely on this occasion 🙂 #magicmoments

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Jeannette on 25th August 2014 at 9:08 pm.

Thanks, your strategy sounds a good one. Sharing is something that is very hit and miss but it was lovely to see this one 🙂

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Coombe Mill (Fiona) on 25th August 2014 at 9:33 pm.

Sharing is always an issue with siblings, it makes you heart melt when they do but can leave you exasperated when they don’t! #MagicMoments

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Jeannette on 2nd September 2014 at 10:19 am.

Very true, it is a big issue here but hopefully, with maturity, it will get easier.

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