“Hug Me Mumma” Weds 31st July 2013

By | July 31, 2013


"Hug Me Mumma" Weds 31st July 2013

Again, like yesterday, those three words above sum up our day.

D was very upset this morning about something which I blogged and I’ve replicated it below:

If I take a picture of D, you can more-or-less guarantee it will include Bunny.

Bunny is her calming tool, her anxiety reliever. Bunny goes everywhere with her, wherever we go that little hand-held Bunnster will come along too. If she’s drawing, then Bunny is held between her upper arm and body, ever near, an ever calming prescence.

When D was in a mainstream environment, she’d carry not only Bunny but also two little bags, full of small things. Playmobil people, scraps of paper, buttons, little sparkly things, items that gave her reassurance. To go from two full bags to just taking Bunny to her SN school is a big achievement.

However, this morning D’s got very very upset and anxious over something two TA’s at her SN school said to her in the playground. She’s only just mentioning it now so I wonder how long it’s been festering inside her.

They told her that she wouldn’t be allowed to have Bunny with her when she’s grown-up.

D has taken that literally and now thinks that when she’s 18, someone is going to take Bunny away from her. For ever. She was inconsolable and decided that she didn’t want to grow up, if it meant being apart from Bunny.

Not good is it? That a nine year is thinking like that.

I’m sure the comment was said in semi-jest, BUT for a child with a tendency to take things literally, it shouldn’t have been said at all.

If D still wants to carry a tiny toy around with her when she’s a young adult, that’s fine by me. Bunny is very portable and would fit into a pocket/a bag, what harm is it doing anyone? If they were thinking from the viewpoint that people will stare and comment…well, flipping heck, they do already and they still will, irrespective of whether she’s carrying a tiny toy with her.

Bunny is not offensive and calms her, where is the harm in that?

Lots of reassurance from me that, of course she can still carry Bunny, adults and older children like toys, I’ve told her about my favourite cuddly toy too and hopefully she’ll put what was quite a silly remark behind her.

Early indications for today though are that she isn’t.

Thanks school!

AutismMumma

It’s set the tone for the day, D’s been happiest wrapped up tight in a blanket and situated as close to me as practically possible. Arms wrapped around either my arms, or my head.

Attempts to do the necessary things for their routine met with "don’t leave me, Mumma", "Hug me tight…tighter".

And all because of some silly throwaway remark made by people who probably forgot as soon as they said it. Well, we’ve felt the repercussions today!

We’ve chatted (well, I have) about the fact that it’s okay to be a grown up and still like to cuddle things and carry things around – my handbag is evidence of that! On a more serious note though, who has the right to dictate to my autistic daughter what she can carry around with her? The Small Toy Police?

That’s how it’s been today really, a cuddly D and a stats-busting T. I’ve tried to explain to him why his sister was upset but he couldn’t really understand.

At least T will be happy this evening, he and Hubbie have gone to watch a local friendly game, as long as my accident-prone Hubbie avoids any low bits of wood!

So that’s us, we had had plans for today but D’s distress meant they’ve been postponed. Predictabily unpredictable but wouldn’t life be boring if it wasn’t?

I hope everyone’s had a good day, comments/RTs/shares as ever welcomed, thanks for reading Jx 😘

"Hug Me Mumma" Weds 31st July 2013
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2 Comments

Anita Bennett on 31st July 2013 at 10:05 pm.

Oh poor D, if only people thought more before they spoke. We’ve had similar issues with S and it’s so hard to explain to him that not everything everyone says is right!!!

We all have our comfort items, I bet those TA’s have their phones with them at all times, no difference really x x x

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Karen on 31st July 2013 at 10:57 pm.

Aww poor D she must have been in a terrible state 🙁

We have so many things taken literally, and it can be a minefield thinking ahead, but why oh why was a TA in a special school saying something like that? Naughty.

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