If they don’t understand within the family, what hope have we externally?

By | December 12, 2011

A bit of history for you:

For the past three years my mum has been in and out of hospital with pneumonia and related illnesses. The doctors have said they can’t cure it, each attack can only be “managed”, which basically means hospital admission; IV drugs till well enough to be cured and then kicked out of hospital.

She doesn’t help herself and would readily admit that. She is morbidly obese, fibromyaglia sufferer, clinically depressed and on so many drugs I’m surprised she doesn’t rattle. Stuck in a vicious circle of eating – feeling depressed because she’s just eaten something “naughty” – eats to feel better – gets depressed because she’s just eaten too much .. and so it goes on.

She refuses to go into a care home so is at the mercy of carers to get her up, get her dressed, empty her commode, change pads – there is just no dignity left for her.

Anyway, every time she goes into hospital, we all rush in, prepare for the worst and then she pulls through and goes home. Three years of this wears you down.

Royal wedding weekend – one of my sisters is in Suffolk, where she lives, another one is busy being proposed to (!) so we knew only to disturb her if absolutely necessary and another has a cold…. the hospital visits fell to me that weekend and only me. Got to me after a while, especially with my daughter missing me and needing me.

Upshot of it was, even though she was with her Dad, she missed me so much she pulled one of her toenails off – ouch! She had no idea of timeframe, all she knew what that she wanted her mum and her mum wasn’t there.

Last week, mum was poorly again. Sister (who could have been there Royal Wedding weekend but wasn’t) expect me to go up in the wind and rain (I don’t drive) with the kids to see mum (when, don’t forget she has carers in 3 times a day). I said no, I wasn’t walking up in the rain and I couldn’t leave D and explained about the toenail incident.

“Oh”, said sister “has she had psyciatric care for that?”

Internal explosion on my part “NO, she’s got autism”

D got diagnosed three years ago….

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